AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

Do I Really Need To Write A Caption?

What a great day to be a Nats fan and a Cub hater. Taking two-out-of-three from the Cubs has been one of the few bright spots in this season of discontent. Nothing makes misery tolerable quite like company.

The Cubs now stand at one game over .500 – a full nine games behind the Cardinals for the division and 7 ½ games behind Colorado for the wild card. Certainly not an impossible task with 37 games to play, but the way they lost those games and who they lost them to indicates that this team doesn’t have the moxie to pull it off.

J.D. martin was less than sharp yesterday and managed to get out with his hide. Martin allowed three runs (two homeruns) in only five innings of work. The Nats bullpen (that’s right, THE BULLPEN) bailed him out allowing only one run over the last four innings to hang onto the 5-4 win.

The night before, Livan Hernandez (more on him in a moment) allowed only 2 runs in six innings. Speaking of Livan Hernandez, I was on the road for work on Wednesday and had not heard about the acquisition of Hernandez until about a half-hour before game time. What the hell? First the Nats front office states they will NOT acquire veteran free-agent pitchers to supplement the rotation. Not only do they throw that plan out the window, they do it FOR LIVAN HERNANDEZ?!?!?! Should we expect Orlando Hernandez next? Perhaps Bert Blyleven would like to come out of retirement to bolster his Hall of Fame chances? Really? Livan Hernandez? I live in New York and I could’ve SWORN I saw Livan in the line to sign up for social security back in June. I swear it was him.

Tuesday night, Garrett Mock was less than perfect but when you get two homers from Josh Willingham and a grand slam from Elijah Dukes, do you really need to worry?

So the Cubs lost to Mock and Martin who are both still developing and hoping at some point to be major league-caliber pitchers. The only win came in the Livan game and that game may have gone to the Nats if Jorge Sosa (who someday hopes to develop into a major league-caliber bathroom attendant) didn’t allow 5 runs in ONE-THIRD OF AN INNING.

Random thoughts……

Say, you know who’s had a career year?

The Guy On The Right

The photo comes courtesy of Nationals Inquisition who represented at bloggers day and got a photo op with Josh Willingham’s gigantic guns (apparently Dangernat had his tickets to the gun show).

Willingham is hitting 25 points higher than his career average and has 21 homers so far – only five fewer than his career high for a season. If the Nats hadn’t wasted their time with Willingham toiling away on the bench early in the season, just think of how much better they’d be. This team benched him and then when they finally gave him his shot, they asked him to change positions – then after they traded away Nick Johnson and moved Adam Dunn to first, they asked him to switch back. All of this and he never moped, never complained and never publicly blasted the team. Instead, he went about his business and earned the job that probably should’ve been rightfully his to begin with.

If I had disposable income, I’d get me a Nationals “Willingham” jersey because these are the types of players worth rooting for.

F**k The Cubs

This Is The Word Of The Lord

Any journalistic integrity I have or may have had at one time in my life is going completely out the window today: I HATE THE CUBS.

And no, this doesn’t stem from Alfonso Soriano signing with the Cubs after his one ill-fated season with the Nationals. I’ve hated them since I was a teenager. I tuned into WGN (the Chicago Superstation) every day to enjoy watching the Cubs lose.

I never found Harry Caray to be charming, I think Ron Santo sounds like an alcoholic who masturbates during Cub radio broadcasts, I don’t feel bad for Ryne Sandberg or Ernie Banks or Cubs fans. I am contented when the Cubs are the Cubs.

You see, I always found it patently unfair that the Cubs had the right to broadcast their games to a national audience (for that matter, I guess that’s also why I hated the Braves so much) – and why did WGN pick the Cubs? THEY SUCKED! At least the White Sox were interesting; but no, they chose the Cubs.

The fans are terrible. They walk around like it’s their right to a championship and they’re rationale is that they’ve “waited long enough.” Really? I don’t think so.

Some things need to be a certainty; like death, taxes, the sun rising in the east, etc. We had the futility trilogy not too long ago: the Red Sox, the White Sox and the Cubs. Well both Sox are off the hook now and we just have to keep this Cubs thing going. It makes for a great story line and it makes me happy.


So what could make me doubly happy? The Nats really have a chance this week to put a hurtin’ on the Cubs’ post-season chances. The Cubs are currently eight games behind St. Louis in the NL Central and 7 ½ games behind the Rockies for the NL Wild Card (with San Francisco, Atlanta and Florida between the Cubs and Rockies). Plus, the Astros and Brewers are both just two games behind Chicago in the standings and both are below .500 . This could be a great week if only we didn’t face Zambrano and Harden in games one and two. Hopefully Mock and Martin can bring their A-games with them as they have their past few starts – each are 2-1 in their last three.

Please Nats. I haven’t really asked for much during this awful season, but can’t we just win 2-out-of-3 here and keep the cycle of Cub losing going? I plan on living until at least 80 years old and I hope the Cubs never win one in my lifetime. I want to die knowing that for 142 straight years, people lived, people died, people were taxed, people watched the sun rise in the east and set in the west every day and the Cubs still never won a World Series.

ESPN - Going The Way Of The Do-Do?

ESPN: The Total Sports Network (of areas surrounding Boston and New York)

The time has come. It’s time for “The New England/New York and NFL Network” – better known to some as ESPN – went away.

Did you know the Yankees and Red Sox played this weekend? Okay maybe you did, but do you know the outcome of any of the games? I sure don’t; and I attribute that in large part to having no access to ESPN anymore, and that’s voluntary.

With the advent of the networks for all four major sports, there really isn’t a need for ESPN anymore. For example, today I am listening to, as I always do, XM Radio’s MLB Homeplate (XM-175) for all of my baseball talk. Sure, they’re covering the Red Sox-Yankees matchup from this past weekend, but they’re covering lots of different topics. This morning they talked about historical improbable endings to baseball games because The Phillies’ Eric Bruntlett turned an unassisted triple play to end the Mets-Phillies game yesterday.

Also earlier today, Kansas City Royals manager Trey Hillman was on to discuss KANSAS CITY ROYALS BASEBALL. Do you think the super-mega-conglomerate which can’t be bothered with anything outside of New York or Boston (unless it’s the NFL) would ever consider spending anymore than a 30-second highlight segment on Kansas CIty unless it was of the Royals getting pummeled by the Yankees – and it not being about the Chiefs? If ESPN was your lone choice for sports information you would think MLB only had two teams (well, okay maybe three if you add the Cubs).

And in case you say, “well gee, that’s all well and good if you’re a baseball nut, but what about football? ESPN covers football.” To which I say, “why wouldn’t you watch the NFL Network instead?” It’s offered on just about every cable system there is. If you’re into satellite radio, Sirius offers an all-football NFL channel. The same is offered by the NBA and the NHL. Hell, even NASCAR and the PGA have their own radio networks and I know that The Golf Channel exists on television.

Why on earth would you ever rely on ESPN for any sports information anymore? Even if you are a fan of the Yankees or the Red Sox, there are 24-hour television stations devoted to those teams.

Maybe ESPN can put the “E” back into its name and move to a 24-hour network that provides just ports-based movies and mini-series. Sorta like an AMC of sports. They could keep the one useful network they have (ESPN News) and get rid of everything else.

With all of the information out there it seems time for these all-inclusive networks to rethink their strategies. Look at MTV and go back and look at where it was 25 years ago; or the Weather Channel. Wake up ESPN. Your days of pandering to a certain segment of your audience and forcing the rest of us to like it are numbered. If I want to hear about baseball that doesn’t have to do with Boston or New York, I can find it now. I don’t need you anymore and soon nobody else will either. I hope you enjoy a programming scheduled filled with World Series of Poker reruns.

Big Week In D.C.

He's Our Man

Despite getting swept by the Rockies this week, the Nationals as an organization are finally starting to look like a real baseball franchise.

The final block of the old MLB-run regime was finally replaced when earlier this week the Nationals named Mike Rizzo the permanent GM of the club. Rizzo has done an admirable job of turning chicken-s**t into chicken salad. Shortly after Jim Bowden’s firing, Rizzo went right to work patching up the bullpen by signing a couple of veterans (okay, so it wasn’t great, but they were literally all that was left after Bowden failed to address the issue) Joe Beimel and Julian Tavarez. He attempted to bolster the ‘pen by adding Logan Kensing from the Marlins – hey, as I said already, he really didn’t have a lot to work with.

He traded away JoeLOL Hanrahandout and troubled prospect Lastings Milledge for the Nationals new spark-plug, lead-off hitter and resident pimptastic “Tony Plush” errr….I mean, … Nyjer Morgan and a very solid bullpen addition of Sean Burnett.

Rizzo then drafted and signed Drew Storen with the #10 overall pick. Not only did he get Storen signed, he got it done quickly and Storen skyrocketed through the system already surpassing short-season and long-season A-ball and is now pitching in AA Harrisburg.

Rizzo’s best accomplishment to date (and probably the move that solidified his job) was staring down the barrel of a gun held by super-agent Scott Boras and getting the #1 overall pick Stephen Strasburg signed. Yes, it was a record-setting contract, but far from bending over for Boras’ initial demands of upwards of FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS.

Rizzo did what Bowden couldn’t do with last year’s first round pick Aaron Crow – and the rumor has it that as the deadline neared, Rizzo went into the conference room, alone, with nobody to watch over him and got the deal done. That’s trust in the man’s ability to do his job. As a result, the Nationals held a press conference yesterday to announce the “interim” tag would be removed from Rizzo’s title.

So now we have real owners, a real front office and now a hand-picked real GM. After a dismal start to 2009, perhaps things will turn around here and we can start playing some better baseball.

And speaking of press conferences, Rizzo’s top prize is slated for a presser of his own today when the Nationals announce to the world that Stephen Strasburg is officially a National.

But before then, Strasburg will be hosting a chat session on mlb.com where fans can submit questions for Strasburg to answer. My guess is, Mike Rizzo will be standing over Strasburg’s shoulder telling him what to and what not to write – call me cynical.

After all of this though, it’s difficult to be cynical because this really has been a great week to be a Nats fan because you can see the building blocks form the foundation.

Now it’s time to get to work and start winning some ball games. Milwaukee? You’re next.

Nationals Land Top Prize In Draft

Stephen Strasburg Signs A Record Contract With Washington

Well, there you have it. All the hemmin' an' hawin' over nothing really. In the end, Strasburg had no interest in being the pawn in Scott Boras's effort to tear down the MLB "First Year Player" Draft system. It was all about the money.

Well Mr. Strasburg, you got your money. Jersey's in your locker. Put it on and get to work you free-loader.

Oh and by the way? That San Diego State uniform looks stupid.

Today Is The Day

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schultz

Today is the day. Either he does, or he doesn’t – Stephen Strasburg, that is.

The deadline to sign the players that teams drafted back in the first-year players’ draft in June is upon us. 11:59 p.m., Monday August 17th. As Julius Caesar says in The Complete Works of William Shakespeare [Abridged] : “Why, that’s today!” - in reference to being reminded to “beware the Ides of March.”

I’ve heard the arguments for why the Nationals should, nay, HAVE to sign him: they failed to sign Aaron Crow (the colossal dumbass) last year, the team needs to make a statement that says they mean business in terms of building a winner, the team needs to tell its fanbase that it cares, etc. But I think they’re being held over a barrel by super-agent Scott Boras who is hell-bent on destroying the draft system and a player who seems eager to act as a pawn.

Rumors are abound about how much the team has offered, but the Nationals’ front office has publicly confirmed that the figure is the highest amount of money ever offered to a number on overall pick. And isn’t that the point? Every year, the number one pick should drive the market up, and the Nationals have stepped up.

To me, this kid just ain’t worth the headache. He alone is not going to turn this franchise around. Baseball is a team sport and the Nationals have a lot more problems that can be addressed. They need to shore up the defense up the middle. Next year, they need a high quality 2B and they need to get a player in the system who can/will replace Cristian Guzman after next year’s trading deadline.

They need to determine whether or not Jesus Flores can not only stay healthy, but continue to be a productive major-league caliber catcher.

They need to clean up the bull-pen. Is Mike MacDougal really going to be your closer? Is he capable? Will 10th overall pick Drew Storen be your closer of the future? Can MacDougal set-up? What about long relief?

Then there’s the rotation: Zimmermann = DONE for at least a year (probably two and possibly forever). Stammen = Detwiler = Martis = Mock = Chico = Balester = 4th and 5th starters. They need a bona fide ace and a #2 or #3 to go along with Lannan and see who shakes out of the remaining prospects to fill out the rotation (and that assumes Strasburg signs).

If the Nats dump $17+ Million on Strasburg, the front office may be hesitant to add too much in the free agent market (plus, there’s that statement from Kasten indicating the team will NEVER address the pitching problems in the free agent market). For my money, I’d rather see what the Nats can do about getting a front-line starter via free agency and let Strasburg pitch in Indy ball or even in Japan.

In the end, Boras works for Strasburg and not vise-versa. If the dollar figure continues to climb and the kid still goes unsigned, I can’t blame the Nationals because they broke the bank for the kid; I can’t blame Boras for trying to get every dollar he can for his client (although filling Strasburg’s head with grandiose ideas can’t be in his client’s best interest). Nope, I blame Strasburg himself. Get in, get your money and GET TO WORK.

Look at Aaron Crow from last year. He’s already lost money and value by pitching in the Indy leagues and now he’s still holding out for more money from the Royals – HE STILL HASN’T LEARNED. He’s not going to come close to earning what the Nats offered him last year and HE’S GOING TO TRY IT AGAIN!?!?!?!?!?

If Strasburg is really going to be this stupid, then I’d rather the Nats move on and get someone with a good head on their shoulders and not someone who wanted to take some time off and enjoy a lengthy summer vacation while his agent did the “work” which got us to this point.

If the Nats don’t get Strasburg, it’s not the end of the world.

Oh No! We Suck Again!

We Are The Geeks Who Get The Swirlees

Well that was fun while it lasted.

The Nats returned from Planet Ecstasy and got right back to business: losing. After a short two-game sweep at the hands of the Braves, the Nats traveled to Cincinnati last night and got a beat-down in the form of a two-hit shutout by Bronson Arroyo (the self-proclaimed juicer).

Collin Balester looked terribly hittable, the offense looked woefully inept and the bullpen was predictably less-than-average (except Mike “The Klej” MacDougal who pitched a perfect ninth inning when absolutely nothing was on the line – why can’t he do that in save situations instead of pitching to induce ulcers?).

The one pitcher the Nationals had that could be considered a potential “front of the rotation” type – Jordan Zimmermann – had Tommy John’s surgery which ended his 2009 campaign as well as shut down any hope for anything in 2010. In fact, if the Nats manage to sign Stephen Strasburg, maybe Jordan Zimmermann will actually be ready to pitch like a #2 when “Stras” is pitching in the majors (probably 2012). Even if Zimmermann can pitch next year, he’ll never be fully recovered to the point of pitching effectively until two years after the surgery and rehab.

We just can’t buy a break and now we’re adding the humiliation of a potential four-game sweep at the hands of the Reds. Garrett Mock? J.D. Martin? At least we’ll have a chance on Sunday with John Lannan.

It’s tough being a Nats fan this year. You feel like the pocket-protector wearing high-school freshman dork who shows up every day and gets a “swirlee” in the boys’ locker room. You go through the year thinking, “this must get pretty old for them, too, so it’ll stop eventually.” Well, that eight-game winning streak was apparently the Spring Break that you receive in April and you return to school and get your “swirlee” again like it never stopped.

It’s getting pretty old for me and it doesn’t appear to be getting old for the seniors.